Redefining Responsibility through Self Leadership: Thoughts for Gifted Men

Much of my professional work, as well as my own self-development work, is centered on the experience and meaning of being, as well as developing robust leadership and creativity, as a gifted man. For each of us, regardless of sex or gender, our giftedness, creativity and leadership are meaningful aspects to bring to the world. But when I envision the future of our world, of this planet and all it contains, it seems that to me that a better understanding of the male perspective and experience is one of the core areas – if not the core area – that could make or break how this future looks.

Self-Leadership for Gifted Men

First published on InterGifted For many gifted and twice- or multi-exceptional men, the self-leadership process requires resolving experiences of impasse and feelings of “failing to actualize potential”. InterGifted coach & community leader Merlin Györy recently shared his wisdom with us on this topic in a community Q+A, which we’ve adapted to an article here. Learn about what self-leadership for gifted men entails, how to find a starting point on your path, how to overcome resistance on the journey, and where to find attuned and connection support along the way. By Merlin Györy SELF-LEADERSHIP Self-leadership is the concerted effort we make to take responsibility for guiding ourselves along the path to developing into fully mature, generative adults. For many gifted men and twice- or multi-exceptional men, the self-leadership process involves resolving experiences of impasse, such as being deeply stuck in a kind of rut that can be felt as “failing to actualize potential”; or standing still even while making seemingly titanic efforts to move forward in one’s journey of self-development. This experience can be lived with overtones of isolation, lack of connection, and dissonance between the cultural images of what it means to be a man, versus one’s complex, unique lived experience. Being […]

Creativity, Perfectionism & Self-Love: Thoughts for the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional

First published on Gifted and twice/multi-exceptional creatives can face major blocks via perfectionism, which has some roots in a lack of self-love. InterGifted creatives coach Merlin Györy recently shared his wisdom with us on this topic in a community Q+A, which we’ve adapted to an article here. Learn about the role of self-love in overcoming perfectionism, as well as the stages of a creative project and how to ask for the right kind of creative feedback at the right time. By Merlin Györy PERFECTIONISM TEAM Many (if not all) gifted creatives have had many monsters to battle internally which have kept us from making space to create. Shame and lack of self love are two of the biggest monsters I’ve known, and they can combine really well to form the “perfectionism team”. As artists, we often put a part of our soul via our perspective into our work. Art is all about communication, and whilst true for any artist, we gifted and twice-/multi-exceptional people confront something specific when we put our art out there. For us, the fear of being not seen, or not understood, can be amplified as we have often had to deal with not being fully seen […]

Gender & Giftedness: Toward a Human-First Model of Self-Expression

First Published on Just as giftedness is not an isolated quality of your life, neither is your biological sex and the connected gender norm you received from your social and cultural environment. Both your giftedness and your inherited gender roles – individually and interconnectedly – globally affect your particular expression and experience of your intelligence, your sense of possibility, and your relationship with yourself and with the external world. In this article, InterGifted Coach Merlin Györy shares his own “positive gender disintegration” process with us as well as suggestions and insight for navigating our own. By Merlin Györy POSITIVE GENDER DISINTEGRATION While I was growing up, I felt a lot of pressure to match my gender – to be “manly”. Unfortunately, as a sensitive, gifted kid, this often conflicted with my inner desires to express my high intelligence in non-stereotypically manly ways. My emotional and intellectual intelligence craved relationships in which I could seek understanding, collaboratively solve puzzles, and enjoy the connection that resulted. I was also not afraid to cry, to hug someone, or to show my intense reaction and appreciation for art. After watching a movie with friends, I wanted to talk about the concepts presented and how […]